Elbows on the dresser, I checked my makeup on the bi-fold mirror. My eyebrows are crooked.  I shake my head. They need to change the light bulb in this room, this while I rummage my makeup bag for the eyeliner.

Halfway through fixing my unfortunate eyebrow, I received a text from my best friend saying that he just got out of an awful meeting with an a—uh not a very nice man. Had he known that I am in the middle of perfecting my look, he would have kept this little information to himself but the deed is done, the spell is broken, a scowl is evident on my painted face. I typed a quick reply:

Aw. Why awful?

Without waiting for his reply, I sent another one:

Kick him in the face.

After two text messages from him detailing his morning, I then offered what any good friend would do. I offered to kill the bad guy, even make it look accidental. I am in the right mood, morose and irritable; you do not want to disturb me when I am in the middle of drawing on my face.

But you see, I am not completely out of mind as to give inappropriate advice to friends. If say, I were talking to a friend who has homicidal tendencies, my reply would run along these lines:

Oh Hun I am so sorry to hear that. But maybe his being an a**—not a very nice man—is just a defense mechanism? We don’t know what he’s going through so let’s be patient. Breathe darling; in through your nose, out through your mouth.

In any case, I have yet to use that tone in my text messaging. All my friends are seemingly normal, although one, who happens to be my former boyfriend, is a misanthrope. He is also my best friend.

LUCHI is a pirate-wannabe and a rebel. She takes pride in the fact that she has defied nature - by perming her hair not once but three times! Although her self-importance was incredibly affected by it, bigger hair added a tinge of grandeur to her meager frame; her hair has then suffered gravely. She refuses treatment for it. Hair is now pirate-perfect.

She detests using LOL in her daily texting life as she associates the acronym with an ex-boyfriend who uses LOL to excess. She instead says HAHAHAHA or would just state the fact that you made her laugh.

She loves to read.

She likes talking in the third person when writing about herself; rarely would she say "I" and when she does, hide. 

Oh being called an author makes her blush.