BITTER NOT ON VALENTINE’S DAY
by Marj Balderas
GETTY IMAGES.
Of course, I got some of my friends to “like” my first article here. How pathetic is that? And upon realizing that I’m also getting them to read what I just wrote, I just wanted scream and run back and hide. I wanted to disappear because of humiliation. I just oversold myself, just told everyone I’m on online dating not just site, but sites! My parents can kill me and my conservative Indian colleagues can disown me as friend. But there’s no turning back now.
As my friend who has the ultimate “I-don’t-give-a-damn-what-other-people-or-the-world-think-of-me” attitude always ask me, what’s wrong with initiating and exerting efforts in placing yourself “out there” telling everyone you’re in search for love or at least a partner, eventually happiness? It’s one’s intentions that matter. Somehow, someway, yes I feel I’m getting closer to really finding Him. Of course I got all of you laughing and thinking, how hopeless I really am. Well this is what happens when you listen to friends who are more hopeless-romantic and tell you there’s someone out there who’d sweep you off your feet. The same friends who’d ask you about a guy; did you see any spark? Did you feel any electricity?
And I am on to my next post here in Finding Nino. Naino, the publisher actually asked me to write something related to Valentine’s Day. He didn’t know my marital status until probably the time I passed my first article. So my answer to him, was why not. For someone very experienced in celebrating Valentine’s day alone, I can definitely write a very good piece about why after Feb 13 it’s just Feb 13.5 next and then Feb 15 after. February after all is really the most abnormal month of the year. Well good thing that I don’t remain to be the last single woman standing among my circle of friends. That’s why I said, my panic mode button is still very much “off.”
On second thought, I can just skip talking about it myself again. Why not ask my friends and people around about the much dreaded V word. Then I began my Operation Survey 101 about Valentine’s Day. So, I asked my friends and also asked them to ask their friends about their definition of Valentine’s. What comes to mind about February 14 and what emotions does that date give them?
And people responded:
As my friend who has the ultimate “I-don’t-give-a-damn-what-other-people-or-the-world-think-of-me” attitude always ask me, what’s wrong with initiating and exerting efforts in placing yourself “out there” telling everyone you’re in search for love or at least a partner, eventually happiness? It’s one’s intentions that matter. Somehow, someway, yes I feel I’m getting closer to really finding Him. Of course I got all of you laughing and thinking, how hopeless I really am. Well this is what happens when you listen to friends who are more hopeless-romantic and tell you there’s someone out there who’d sweep you off your feet. The same friends who’d ask you about a guy; did you see any spark? Did you feel any electricity?
And I am on to my next post here in Finding Nino. Naino, the publisher actually asked me to write something related to Valentine’s Day. He didn’t know my marital status until probably the time I passed my first article. So my answer to him, was why not. For someone very experienced in celebrating Valentine’s day alone, I can definitely write a very good piece about why after Feb 13 it’s just Feb 13.5 next and then Feb 15 after. February after all is really the most abnormal month of the year. Well good thing that I don’t remain to be the last single woman standing among my circle of friends. That’s why I said, my panic mode button is still very much “off.”
On second thought, I can just skip talking about it myself again. Why not ask my friends and people around about the much dreaded V word. Then I began my Operation Survey 101 about Valentine’s Day. So, I asked my friends and also asked them to ask their friends about their definition of Valentine’s. What comes to mind about February 14 and what emotions does that date give them?
And people responded:
"My two views about Valentine's day: Firstly not everybody has someone to celebrate Valentine’s day with so if you are single, you can change the meaning of Valentine's Day from a day about romance to a day about love. Make it a day to celebrate the love you have for anyone special in your life, friends and family. If you don't have a significant other, spend time with the other people you love. Everyone can actually enjoy the day, not just couples. Secondly I don’t make Val's day so important to my relationship, because so many male and female will make it determine their relationship and the truth is no matter how you decide to spend your Valentine's Day, don't measure the success of your relationship by how romantic or expensive your day was. There are many ways to celebrate, ranging from sharing a handwritten card to taking a vacation. It's only one day out of the year and although you want to have fun, it's what you do the other 364 days of the year that say much more about the strength of your relationship."- Male, Single, 30s, Malaysia
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"Wow, never really thought about it - Valentine's Day is a special day where couples go all lovey-dovey in this commercialized occasion to celebrate their love for each other, though it has deviated very much from the original St Valentine's Day massacre. To me, it makes one believe in the power of love, and that love matters and can make a difference in each others' lives - as the song goes 'Love makes the world go round' :) Although couples can celebrate their affection for each other day, it's just a special day where the guys are pressured/expected to show affection for their ladies ! Watch the movie 'Love Actually' for a well-worked romantic comedy - although 'Valentine's Day' directed by Gary Marshall is a direct relation to the subject, but not very well-received! --Shen, Male, 27, Singapore
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It’s a day to summarize all the efforts and time..that after all that you’ve been through , that on that day you are still together..:) .For me it’s a lovers thanksgiving day-- (Alma, 26, In a Long-Distance Relationship, PH)
"Valentines for me is expressing love and affection for me and my lover"- Moochie, Single, 30s, PHEveryday is Valentine’s Day. February 14 is a special day for us to show more love and care for others. – Ais, Married, 30s, PHValentine’s is the season of spreading love to those people who are important in your life. – Jhobs, late 20s, Newly Engaged, SG |
Valentine’s day - Everyday is valentine’s when you are in love and when you are committed to staying in love - no matter the circumstance -- Elissa, late 20s, Single
It’s the day I appreciate all of her efforts and love her as much as possible --Monte, (in a long distance relationship, USA V-day is just an ordinary day especially when ur living/ working in a place where theres nothing but sand (ksa).... people dont celebrate it here so are we. -K, single 26, KSA |
"Valentine’s Day is the day that I don’t have a date!!!! (then cursed me…) :D —-- Nathan Summers, 30s, USA
"Valentine's is about experiencing love at its purest. It's about looking past heartbreaks and opening up towards seeking a whole new light in the form of unconditional love... ---Brigitte Lee, 24, Single/Dating, Heartbroken, SG "Sad.hatred.lonely.envy". - Corz, Philippines |
Valentine’s is not important anymore. Priorities change after a baby. :) (then asked me: Are you on hangover?) --Indian friend, married, new mother to a beautiful baby girl
I guess for true love no special day required...however, its good to have to celebrate a day in the name of love... - Sam, 30, Single, SG "V-day is the best opportunity for us to share and express our love and sentiments to not only our better half but to all the significant people in our lives. a time to feel warm and to smile that at least for one day love conquered the most part of us. - Nina G., Philippines |
Feb 14 is not just our Valentine’s Day. Throughout the year is Valentine’s for us because I love her so much. My love to her cannot be expressed in words. I show my love to her through my action. Nothing can stop my love to her through my actions. Nothing can stop my love towards her. She is my perfect match blessed by God. – Krishnan, 30s married to Rhodelita, SG. They met through an online dating site and got married in India last year. Krishnan is Hindu and Rhodelita is Filipina.
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Valentine’s is when you are with your loved ones, not just to celebrate the day but to be there laughing, fooling around and making a joke out of each other, to join you in your sadness, too. But at the end of the day, turns out to be something special. (then comments, yuck, I’m getting sooo freaking sappy!!! …. Mhin, In a long-distance relationship, 30s, PH
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Not really much feelings for Valentine’s Day. Nowadays. Just a bit of rustic memories, but ideally to take a day-off and spend some quality time with your loved one. It is an opportunity for you to reiterate your love for her and make her fall for you all over again. – Maheshiwa, Single, mid 20s, SG
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Valentine’s Day for me is just a typical day. For me, everyday is and should be Valentine’s. All you need to do is express your love even in a very simple way not only to your loved ones but to anybody who means so much to you. – Jenny,Married, late 20s, SG
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Valentines for me is a day for couples who can renew their vows of love to each other. For singles, it’s to realize that Valentine’s Day is just a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving. (lol) – AA, Male, 30s, Married, PH
It’s happy single’s day for me.-- Kassey, 27, Single, Phils It’s just any other day. We don’t celebrate Vday anymore. – Jo, Female, Married, PH |
Valentine’s is for everyone not just for couples---it’s for friends, family and even God. – CC, In a Relationship, 25, Male, PH
"I feel V-Day is just an another day in your life. People are wasting money on this day to express their love to their loved one by getting materialistic things. You can express your care and affection every second to their loved ones. Feb 14 is discount & promotion day for me !!! Bought lot of stuff during this day for cheaper price. LOL. Stay Happy and healthy everyone :) I am single and my comments. Thanks for allowing me to share my view on this. " -Giry, Philippines |
Well Dear Valentine’s Day,
I only dread you honestly because unlike any other day, you remind me most of the fact that I am not with anyone “just yet”. You are actually one of the loveliest days of the year—flowers, cholocates and gift -giving everywhere. It’s true, everyday should be Valentine’s. I do look forward and I am very excited to finally celebrating ‘you” with hopefully “the guy” the soonest. Next year! ? Yes!
I only dread you honestly because unlike any other day, you remind me most of the fact that I am not with anyone “just yet”. You are actually one of the loveliest days of the year—flowers, cholocates and gift -giving everywhere. It’s true, everyday should be Valentine’s. I do look forward and I am very excited to finally celebrating ‘you” with hopefully “the guy” the soonest. Next year! ? Yes!
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GETTY IMAGES
*Images courtesy of GETTY IMAGES. |
